Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
