Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
