why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
