Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
