You made me cry and you don't even care
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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