i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
