Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
