4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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