what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
