it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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