What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
