Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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