Say something about gay babies.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
