Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(804): View more from Virginia

id be glad to

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(337): View more from Louisiana

it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.

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(951): View more from California

So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.

(909): View more from California

dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?

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(404): View more from Georgia

Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad

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(+79): View more from

Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight

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(602): View more from Arizona

i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments

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(904): View more from Florida

WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".

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