I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
