Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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