Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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