Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
