Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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