I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
