I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
