found the other keg... it's in the tree
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
