Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
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