i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
