I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
