Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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