my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
