can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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