"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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