That's intense
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize