I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
