just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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