im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You smell like stripper and shame
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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