VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
