Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize