i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize