Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
