I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
