she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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