I want to make a zoo with you.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
