Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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