And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize