If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
im six kinds of drunk right now
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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