I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
