your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
