how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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