I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
