no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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