The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
