You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
