Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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