I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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