my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
