And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
people are starting to question the shark bite story
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This is the high leading the old right now
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
