also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
