hell yes lets make some ravioli
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
It's just like the Real World with babies
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
