I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
