It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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