I smell stomach acid.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
