but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
