Do you still have your period?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
