i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
