Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize