she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
