first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
