marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize