is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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