When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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