everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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