Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
