Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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