is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
