Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
