You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize