I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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