Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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