we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
