so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just found puke in my bra..
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize