so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize
