Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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