I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
