Soap is not a condiment
I'm jealous of your bromance
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He shit in the fireplace
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
