I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
