he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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