escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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