I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Randomize